Hear Me Out: No TV Until Austin Peay

Hear Me Out: No TV Until Austin Peay

Athens

Hear Me Out: No TV Until Austin Peay


Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack Callahan, I will be starting my junior year at the University of Georgia tomorrow, and I was the dude behind UGA Barstool for the last two years before leaving this past spring to pursue new things. Those “new things” being writing for another UGA-based site.

Over the next few months I’ll be trying my darndest to offer you the best uncensored and unfiltered takes on everything UGA straight from the heart of Athens.

Now let’s get to it.

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If you’re a fellow Georgia Bulldog, allow me to be the first to say congratulations.

These past few weeks have been a rather swell time: Kirby locked down a gaggle of top recruits (big surprise there), UGA’s next great running back Zamir White was cleared to play after tearing his ACL near the end of his senior season, and former 5-star WR recruit Demetris Robertson was granted a waiver by the NCAA to suit up for the Dawgs this season after transferring in from Cal.

On top of all that, just yesterday I finished moving into my new apartment in beautiful downtown Athens, Georgia. Oh, and did I mention tomorrow is sorority bid day?

With all of these wonderful happenings and goings ons, any person with half a brain would expect me to be happier than a Tech fan at Peter Piper’s Pocket Protector Emporium (try saying that five times fast).

Oddly enough, I’m on the verge of jumping into oncoming traffic, and I blame cable television.

Some might call me irrational, but when every single channel decides to play replay after replay after replay of us falling one play short to the Tide in the Natty, I can’t really think of anything else to do. All I want to do is watch my shows and now I’m crying in the bathroom. This isn’t how I wanted to start my week.

The only logical solution here is to give up watching TV until Austin Peay comes to town and takes the ass whooping that they so bravely signed up for.

Now, I know this might be a challenge, but who needs television when you can just watch the 2018 Rose Bowl on repeat? Just sit back, relax, and soak in Baker Mayfield’s tears. They’re delicious AND nutritious.

If you decide to roll the dice and watch your regularly scheduled programming, beware of ESPN’s Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer Boner for anything Alabama or Nick Saban related. There is a good to fair chance you too might find yourself in a puddle of your own tears on the bathroom floor, but fear not! Simply take a gander at the photograph below, know that the beautiful man pictured is the head football coach at the University of Georgia, and realize that everything is going be okay.

In Kirby we trust. Go Damn Dawgs.

NCAA Football: Rose Bowl-Oklahoma vs Georgia

January 1, 2018; Pasadena, CA, USA; Georgia Bulldogs head coach Kirby Smart celebrates the victory against the Oklahoma Sooners following the 2018 Rose Bowl college football playoff semifinal game at Rose Bowl Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

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